woman holding pink birthday cake on white cake stand.

You've been invited to a birthday (woohoo!), but now it's time to find a gift and write a birthday card (oh dear!). Of course you're going to the celebration — you're the life of all parties, plus chocolate cake is your weakness. Before enjoying the celebration, hand off birthday flowers or a card for the guest of honor. The thought will touch their heart, and they'll probably cut you a larger slice of cake.

Birthdays are meant to be filled with smiles and laughs! Make your card one to remember, by adding some humor to your message. We rounded up the best birthday puns and jokes that are so hilarious, the birthday queen or king will cherish your card for years to come!

Birthday Wishes to Forget About Getting Older

funny birthday quote with pink background.

Old age isn't something most are fond of or want to talk about. We're here to lighten the mood with laughs and giggles. Who says getting older can't be entertaining? Although it's inevitable, look on the bright side — growing up is optional!

  1. Birthday candles don't exercise because they burn out too quickly!
  2. What goes up but never comes down? Your age!
  3. You know you are getting older when the candles don't fit on the cake.
  4. I hope the only things that blow are candles and balloons. Have a great birthday!
  5. They say everything gets better with age.
  6. You are one candle closer to starting a house fire.
  7. Congrats on proving that getting older doesn't mean getting wiser.
  8. For the record, you're not old, you're a classic.
  9. This whole birthday thing is getting old, don't you think?
  10. Happy birthday to someone old enough to go vintage shopping in their own closet.
  11. I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look at the bright side — not too many left now.
  12. More candles means a bigger wish!
  13. You are aged to perfection.
  14. Looking 50 is great! If you're 60.
  15. Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.

Hilarious Happy Birthday Jokes to Make Your Parents Laugh

funny birthday quotes with orange background.

Your parents are your number one fans! If you hand over a hilarious birthday card, they'll probably think you're the next big comedian. Give mom or dad a chuckle on their special day with these funny birthday jokes.

  1. You're not 50 years old, you are 20 years old with 30 years of experience!
  2. You did a grape job raisin me. Happy birthday!
  3. Behind every great parent is a great kid. Happy birthday!
  4. Being related to me is the best birthday gift you could receive.
  5. Happy birthday to a [mom/dad] who's smart, funny and good looking, from a [son/daughter] who inherited all your best qualities.
  6. What type of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music!
  7. You know you're getting old when…there is nothing left to learn the hard way.
  8. What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? No cake for me…I'm stuffed
  9. How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish them.
  10. Why do pieces of popcorn always have great birthdays? Because they're always popping!

Cake Puns You'll Want a Piece Of

funny birthday quote with green background.

You batter believe we have a whole list of cake puns that ice the cake! Take the cake for the best birthday card by using one of these birthday puns.

  1. I like big bundts and I cannot lie.
  2. You make life so fun-fetti.
  3. My birthday cake brings all the boys to the yard.
  4. Some only dream of cake. Others bake it happen.
  5. Cake my day.
  6. Life is what you bake it.
  7. Have a flantastic birthday.
  8. You batter believe it's your birthday.
  9. Why did the cupcake go to the doctor's office? It was feeling crummy.
  10. What is a ghost's favorite cake? I-scream cake!

Birthday Puns for a Funny Friend

funny birthday quote with red background.

It's yo shawty's birthday! Your friends are the people who make you laugh the most, so there's no room to disappoint them on their special day. Make their birthday wishes come true with birthday puns and jokes that'll crack them up.

  1. I will never dessert you.
  2. Hey shawty, it's sherbert day.
  3. Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!
  4. A guaranteed gift you get every birthday is another year older.
  5. Don't worry if no one comes to your birthday party because then you'll have your cake and eat it too.
  6. Loving you is a piece of cake
  7. Wine improves with age. You improve with wine.
  8. Growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional.
  9. Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.
  10. You feta have a gouda birthday.

Between all the confetti, balloons and cake, we hope that these birthday puns and jokes ice the cake. To balance out the laughter, gift something sweet and caring like a birthday bouquet to bring in all the warm and fuzzy feelings the birthday girl or boy deserves. If you're wondering how to properly gift the guest of honor, see our gift-giving etiquette guide so you don't miss a step.